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  • I'm Lost And A Monster is Under My Bed!

    I’m going to suggest something that may seem strange and almost impossible to imagine.  You may even need to close your eyes to avoid distraction.

    Ok, ready?  Pretend that Glinda the Good Witch waved her magic wand and things began to disappear.  Poof!  Your to-do list gone!  Poof! No more inner chatter! 

    Poof!  Your responsibilities are gone and there is just you sitting in silence.  No one calling your name, no dog to walk, no dinner to make, nothing – just peace and quiet!

    Are you there?  Does it feel a little strange?  It did for me because without my list, my roles and responsibilities I didn't know what to do or more importantly, who I was.

    I lost myself.

    When I talk about losing myself, which I did, it’s losing my idea of who I am and my idea of what I am supposed to be doing and the idea of what my value is. 

    My identity had become a list of descriptors like mother, daughter, friend and lover. 

    Added to that were the expectations of other people in my life and society at large.

    Not to mention my own extremely high expectations!

    Over the past week this topic has come up at least three times with friends and clients so I’m thinking that maybe you can relate?

    It really isn’t all gloom and doom, but the first step is always awareness and clarity so here is my belief on how it works in very simple terms.  Feel free to disagree.

    We enter this life utterly perfect and knowing exactly who we are.  I like to think of this as a beautiful flame in our heart-center.  If we could just stop here things would be great, but that is not how life works.

    Instead we are surrounded by life’s craziness and dysfunction.  So many mixed messages to sort out in order to stay safe, receive love, and be seen and heard.  That’s really all we want as children and adults too, if we’re honest.

    So life happens and over time layers build of limiting beliefs, thoughts, unprocessed emotions and experiences.  And that bright flame representing who we truly are begins to dim for lack of oxygen.  It tries to get our attention (a.k.a. intuition), but we mostly ignore it.

    That is how I believe I lost myself.  So how did I begin to find myself?

    By mustering the courage to look under the bed where all those scary monsters live

    I needed to shine a light on the programmed beliefs that had held me hostage and heal the sadness and anger around experiences I found debilitating and traumatic. 

    Is this easy? No.  Does it happen overnight?  No.

    Is it possible and worth the effort?  You bet it is!

    My personal experience of this shows beyond a doubt that when you heal the wounds and surrender to the moment life gets so much easier and much more joyful!

    If you are a human being living on Planet Earth you have experienced ‘stuff’.  None of us escapes that.  So here is another example.

    Jessica's Story

    Jessica (name changed) is a beautiful and creative 67-year-old woman.  She discovered I was an EFT Practitioner (otherwise known as Tapping) and booked a session with me.

    She had witnessed something at the age of 4 that her young brain could not make sense of.  It was traumatic for her and it influenced how she lived the next 63 years of her life and not in a good way!

    If left alone, these events continue to impact our current life.  But they are not easy to identify because they have their own super powers!  Like Harry Potter’s Cloak of Invisibility they hide from view, sneak up on us and hold us hostage.

    We all experience ‘stuff’ in our life. 

    Times we are hurt, criticized, abandoned, and judged.  These experiences will hold us back from our dreams until they are resolved and healed.  Even seemingly small incidents can do this. 

    They are like a bad movie that plays on a continuous loop.  We don’t like the characters, plot line or outcome but we keep watching.  And, most of the time it plays unconsciously.  Talk about sneaky! 

    Jessica was about to give up! 

    She had tried many things to heal this but without any luck and she was about to give up for good!  Have you ever felt like this?  I know I have! 

    Fortunately she didn't and we had EFT to help!  I guided her through a process where she tells the story of her experience.  As she narrated the story we stopped at each point that prompted even the slightest intensity of emotion. 

    As each emotion arose we used tapping to clear it.  One by one these emotions disappeared until she could tell the entire story without any emotion attached to it. 

    The traumatic experience she lived with for 63 years was now only a memory!

    I never stop being amazed by these stories!

    So what happened to Jessica?  Six months later I checked in with her to see if this experience was still cleared.  Her response:

    “You asking me about it makes me realize it really IS out of my system!  Amazing and thank you! 

    I’m now claiming my own worth and power.  It just keeps going deeper and impacting every area of my life.” 

    The good news is that any one of you could be Jessica!  You just need to make the decision. 

    Do you have a memory to clear, need a boost of confidence, release some sadness or anger, maybe stop judging yourself so harshly? 

    I share this with you because I find that people have stopped dreaming and that makes me very, very sad.  

    I was there, but by doing the inner work I’m chipping away at my own gremlins.  I have begun to not only dream, but also live my dreams! 

    Never give up dreaming!!

    I'd like to end with the following words I recently came across. 

    hey you.

    yes, you, stop being unhappy with yourself, you are perfect.  stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else.  stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you.  stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks.  love them.  without those things you wouldn’t be you, and why would you want to be anyone else?  be confidant with who you are.  smile.  it’ll draw people in.  if anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself then you stick your middle finger in the air and say screw it.  my happiness will not depend on others anymore.  i’m happy because i love who i am.  i love my flaws.  i love my imperfections.  they make me me.  and ‘me’ is pretty amazing.

    Much love, Colleen

    Be Bold.  Be Brilliant.  Be YOU!